I Knew I Was Getting Older, But.....

All the things that happen when you get older have been happening to me---
I can't see,
I can't hear,
I can't remember anything.
I can't find things I hide from David*
I wear granny panties.
I wear MuMus.
AARP is hounding me to join.
I wear my pants up as high as I can pull 'em.
And---the final clincher, I'm forgetting to zip up my pants.
Yep, I'm like those old men you see everywhere with their pants up under their arm pits...and unzipped.
And of course I'm not a man.  Sigh.
* Some of the things that I hide from David are: Garden gloves, lighters of any and all kinds, garden pruning shears, hammers, screw drivers, glue, hair brushes, combs, tweezers, nail clippers, nails, screws, picture hangers...to name a few.
In fact the other day he needed a pair of garden gloves and the conversation went something like this.
David:  "I ran across a pair of garden gloves and I wondered what they were doing there and then it occurred to me that you had hid them from me.  Do you remember where you hid them?"
Me: "No."
Sooo, I couldn't remember where I had hid them and he couldn't remember where he had found them.
Therefore he had to go and buy a pair.
Sigh.